Tuesday, December 16, 2008

More Children's Books About Obama

If Liberals had an indoor sport it would be indoctrinating the next generation, and from songs of praise to the Beloved Leader, to colorful stickers and books, it's never too early to brainwash small children into believing that a con man from Chicago can save the planet.

Now Sultan Knish exclusively presents some of the newest line of children's books about Obama direct from Liberal Learning Disorder Press.

Help prepare your children for the era of diminished expectations beginning from the top down. Forget Algebra and History, they won't need it where they're going.

Some horrible things, such as why kittens die, tornadoes and how a compulsive liar with no experience was selected to the highest office in the land, are tough to explain to kids. HOLY CRAP: Explaining Obama to Your Kids by Dr. Russel Wristwaith, author of TORNADOES HURT and WHY KITTENS DIE, takes a stab at it in this fun and highly readable book.

Enjoy it and the other selections from LLDP in your home, your compost heap, or your coal burning stove.

Do you know what drugs Obama is taking in the Oval Office? Thanks to weekly YouTube and Twitter addresses, your kids probably already do. So stay ahead of them with his valuable tome from two leading authorities on illegal drugs, who will classify the recreational pharmaceuticals being smoked, sniffed, snorted, injected and collated in the Oval Office. Get them before your kids do.

The Little Boy From Kenya Who Wanted to be President by Barack H. Obama is the inspiring story of a little boy whose ambition to be President of a country he wasn't actually born in, took him from lie to lie, until his lies landed him in Washington D.C. Teach your kids that the ends always justify the means with this charming little tale, by our Liar in Chief.

Kids these days. They act so responsible. They care about others. They care about their country. Put a stop to that nonsense with GOD DAMN AMERICA: KIDS EDITION, by Reverend Wright and Barack Obama. It's time to teach these darn kids to put their own egos first ahead of the welfare of others, and who better to teach that lesson than Obama and Wright.

It's coming, so you might as well prepare your kids for it. David Axelrod helps introduce them to the next four years of craven terrorist appeasement with, The Amazing True Adventures of Mr. Obama and Mr. Osama. Your kids will thrill along to the adventures of these two lifelong friends around Pakistan and Indonesia. Jihad has never been so much fun.

Wealth distribution can be a tough sell to children who as Marx taught us, are greedy little bastards. Help explain it to them with these two books that make Wealth Redistribution fun for the whole family, as long as your family is the Obama family or a major contributor.

Never have the words of the Messiah been so crystal clear, articulate and addressed high up to the teleprompter as in The New New Testament, a book of faith for our time. Read it, and remember, He Who Believeth in Me Shall Have His Vote Counted (Chicago 1:09)

Dreams From my Father, a Story of Race and Inheritance, Obama's Ayers' magnum opus, now at last lovingly restored into its original German. It almost makes you want to fill a stadium and chant till your voice is hoarse while waiting to lavish your vaguely sexual love on a cult figure who represents your hopes and aspirations.

Is the smell of patchouli a constant in your house? Do you raise your dogs on a strictly Vegan diet? Instead of health care for your children, do you pick out a new set of crystals to hang over their cribs? Then Mama Voted for Obama by Sunshine SkyWater Appleton (daughter of former Haight Ashbury resident  Guru Zenji Basonski) is perfect for your home. If you never underestimate the healing powers of LSD and joining a cult, this is the book that will help explain your horrid lifestyle to your children... if the state doesn't step in first. (Credit: Lemon Lime Moon)

Don't you just love a happy ending?


Keli Ata said...

Bam Bam and Blago! Love it. I love 'em all. Can I purchase the entire volume?

Yobeeone said...

ROFL!!!! Thanks for brightening my evening! :]

Keli Ata said...

Mine too, Yobee :) Just think, four years a head of us and even more material. Bush had his mispronunciation of things, Ford was a klutz, Clinton a womanizer and skilled liar, Nixon had his peace signs...what will Bam Bam be identified with?

(Oustanding work, Sultan. truly great work, hre.)

Debbie said...

Oh thank-you!!! I was wondering how I was going to explain him to my children. Do you accept Visa, Mastercard, or American Express?

Sultan Knish said...

Only the Messiah card is accepted

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