Articles

Monday, August 07, 2006

The Reuters Photoshop Diaries

From: adnanhaji@msn.com
To: photoeditor@reuters.co.uk
Subject: photo sale

Hello Reuters, Adnan here from Lebanon informing you that the latest Zionist depredation has been to release the giant head of Charlie Sheen over Beirut. Will you take pictures at the usual rate?

Adnan Hajj




From: adnanhaji@msn.com
To: photoeditor@reuters.co.uk
Subject: URGENT photo sale

Reuters, Charlie Sheen's giant head has now been joined by Mel Gibson's giant head who has undoubtedly been intimated by Zionist blackmail into joining their unholy war against the Lebanese people. There is no telling what tragic consequences will result from the heads of two Hollywood celebrities flying around the Beirut skyline.

P.S. Note this is an exclusive. Not even CNN has this.

Adnan Hajj




From: adnanhaji@msn.com
To: photoeditor@reuters.co.uk
Subject: URGENT photo sale

Alert Reuters, the Zionist entity's American allies have unleashed their ultimate weapon, a gigantic enraged Al Gore breathing fire across our poor city. Entire buildings have been consumed by the fire-breathing former Vice President. Entire families have had to take shelter in soup cans and discarded luggage. If he attempts to do the Macarena, surely we will all perish.

P.S. Are there any other famous Americans you would like to see over Beirut?

Adnan Hajj




From: adnanhaji@msn.com
To: photoeditor@reuters.co.uk
Subject: URGENT photo sale

Reuters, a previously unknown pro-Zionist entity known only as the United Federation of Planets has dispatched a giant spaceship to bombard Beirut, manned by two known Zionists William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy. Fire and smoke rises over Beirut in any direction you request. Also we are infested with many tribbles which may be a sign of the end of days and the return of the hidden Imam. The news of this terrible atrocity must reach the world! Please print these pictures and pay me the usual rate.

Adnan Hajj




From: adnanhaji@msn.com
To: photoeditor@reuters.co.uk
Subject: URGENT photo sale

Horrors! Oh Allah! By the prophet's beard the greatest horror is upon us! The Zionists, Celtic branch, have unleashed their worst abomination upon us. Riverdance! Oh Reuters, they dance upon our poor city! Oh sure now and begorrah, tis a sad sad state of affairs it is. Think of it dozens of giant shiny black boots pounding upon Beirut in Celtic rhythm to the strains of a harp and fiddle! They will crush us all!!!

P.S. Please deposit payment in my usual account.

Adnan Hajj

25 comments:

Keliata said...

ROFL!!!! LOL!!!!

But seriously, people like this freelancer make a mockery of all freelancers. Unfortunately, you see this a lot with the wire services that employee local stringers. Apparently all the photo editors here care about is getting getting the caption right...I mean biased properly to present Israel is the worst light.

Yehudah said...

That's great stuff. Especially the Starship Enterprise!

LindaSoG said...

ROFL! Excellent!

Yobeeone said...

ROFL!!!! My fav was Star Trek! But personally, I think the scariest thing that could possibly be "faced" over Bay-Rootless is Jane Fonda! Just the thought makes me shiver. :]

Sultan Knish said...

all they wanted were scenes of explosions and carnage to lay at israel's doorstep and only when it got really obvious are they pulling back without admitting any wrongdoing

much of the AP and Reuters reports, not just photos, but stories are written or co-written by local arabs anyway

Sultan Knish said...

fonda over beirut

you can smell the fear

Keliata said...

What's worse, so many daily newspapers rely on wire services for foreign coverage so there's rarely any fact checking.

Keliata said...

And if the faulty coverage supports the editorial opinions of the newspaper nothing gets done.

As I always say, there is corruption in all professions, including journalism.

Some Guy said...

I love it! Fire and smoke rises over Beirut in any direction you request. That cracked me up! Excellent!

yitz said...

Sultan, you've outdone yourself! Great work! Maybe CNN will hire you instead of Hajj :))

But B"H' there was an even bigger kerfluffle yesterday when Saniora of Lebanon reduced the "death toll" from an Israeli bombing from 40 to.... ONE! See most post at Shiloh Musings with a great hilarious PS at the end!

lurker said...

It gets worse: Israel has now let loose their high-tech genetically engineered reptiles upon the hapless residents of Beirut...

http://thumbsnap.com/v/N2MJZloW.jpg

Kristopher said...

So when does Something Awful and Fark get into the act?

Sultan Knish said...

both liberals, so I suspect never...

Neshama said...

Keep it up Sultan, you may get a job with roiters! OR maybe with Al - Ja-jeersa.

That was great! You broke the wrinkled-brow-seriousness of worrying about the Matzav for a couple minutes.

A big laugh just kept growing and then flew out of me by the time I got to Mr Gorish. That was great! Thank you.

Gianni Wise said...

to the fool who produced this piece of photoshop stupidity: grow up - people are dying

Sultan Knish said...

gianni, yes people are dying

both israelis and arabs are dying because of hizbollah and the western media is all too eager to put out fake photos as propoganda for the people who are dying

sometimes it takes laughter to smash that propoganda

Lemon Lime Moon said...

Thats the point Gianni.
The whole Point of war is to kill people. You grow up.

Louis DePalma said...

Gianni go back to muslim land where you belong you sleeper.
This whackjob is a muslim who hates white people.

Louis DePalma said...

He idolizes killers like H.Rapp Brown and other 60s trash

TheLateMoeHoward said...

My first visit here, but certainly not the last. Great stuff. I especially love the Enterprise picture.
Those whack job 'journalists' should be taken aboard and subjected to the Vulcan Death Grip.

Jihad Jay said...

Haaaaaaaa! Great job!

That is hysterical. And further brings to light Reuters incompetence.

Sultan Knish said...

thanks good to hear that moe

jimkirk said...

beam me up scotty there is no inelligent life down here

jimkirk said...

beam me up scotty there is no inelligent life down here

Anonymous said...

"the whole point of war is to kill people"
this is WHY people don't grow up
and oh yes, poor israel, its cities flattened by journalists of all people.
i did enjoy your photoshop. unfortunately SA seems preoccupied with cheap shots at pop culture.
http://i.somethingawful.com//sasbi/2006/08/jumpman16/SailorBob.jpg
this seems as close as they get

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