Sunday, August 24, 2008

The Messiah With No Middle Name finds himself a VP

Obama's long lost brother recently turned up in Africa living on less than a dollar a day. But he may have only been testing Obama's new economic plan for America because by the time Obama is through with America we might not even have a dollar a day to live on.

As the Messiah With No Middle Name finds himself floundering in the polls, something has got to give. For months Obama harnessed the belief of gullible twenty somethings sure that if they just waited around long enough he would break out a guitar and jam with them.

Months later with no guitar in sight, FISA voted on and passed, campaign financing promises trashed and faith lagging, Obama brought out the big guns. He began with an extended viral campaign promising anyone who volunteered to work on his campaign and shine his shoes a chance to be the first to learn who his VP was. Or something like that.

At least he managed to forego the star search, he did however rely on a Kennedy headed search committee that naturally picked the one Northeastern Senator more liberal and more prone to saying stupid things than Ted Kennedy, without having the Kennedy name to his credit. Joe Biden.

On the plus side of the equation, Joe Biden can probably insure that the populous state of Delaware will still come out for Obama. On the minus side of the equation is Joe Biden who is a human gaffe machine prone to saying the most awful things imaginable under the guise that he's promoting racial healing or frank discussion or a new brand of ginger ale.

But it's hard to imagine the Obama campaign coming up with a more anti-climatic answer to the VP question, than by choosing a mostly obscure, mostly crazy liberal Northeastern Senator that virtually no one has heard of.

As the followup to a viral campaign to re-engage the public with the Obama campaign, Biden is a dull wet thump in a crowded room. After having denied that Biden was the VP, then finally announcing him as the VP, the media tried to make the best of a bad situation by playing up Biden's foreign policy experience, thereby suggesting that Biden would be a second Dick Cheney. The problem was that too much of Biden's foreign policy experience involved aiding Jihadists in Bosnia and voting for the War in Iraq, something that half of Obama's campaign cred has been built on opposing.

One interpretation is that Biden is there to launch the dirty attacks on McCain that Obama doesn't want to dirty himself with. This is plausible considering that Obama's dirty campaigns have been fought by lawyers, people who worked for his campaign who put videos on YouTube that supposedly had nothing to do with him and now his VP pick. But considering that Biden turned a simple question about what law school he went to into an extended rant about how high his IQ is, setting him loose as an attack dog is a plan that's right up there with sending a pyromaniac to light a torch.
I'm sure that Biden will serve as an attack dog, I'm also sure that he'll do most of the damage to his own side, delivering verbal broadsides that roll like grenades back into Obama's tent. Clearly the Obama campaign was worried about a possible advantage they had over McCain in not having a candidate who might say something horrendously awful under the guise of a joke, and chose to fill that gap with Joe Biden closing the Gaffe Gap for good.

A good Vice President is supposed to be like an elf, mostly out of sight and helping to wrap the presents. Obama has picked himself the craziest loudmouthed elf he could find in all of elf land or Delaware. One theory is that Joe Biden is on board to distract people from Obama. Another theory is that Joe Biden is on board to distract delegates from the moment when Obama takes off his human suit and begins scarfing up DNC conventiongoers like french fries.

The only positive thing about Joe Biden from a Democrat's point of view is that he represents a clear sign of confidence. It's as if Obama is so certain he'll win that he straps on the 50 lb millstone of Joe Biden on his back just to prove that nothing is going to slow him down.

Common electoral sense said that Obama needed a more conservative VP and one from a Southern or battleground state. As he so often does Obama threw common sense out the window and instead announced Joe Biden as the future President of the United States, suggesting that he either plans to retire early or that his mind has already retired.

But common sense suggested that the Democratic party needed someone better than a Senator who had only been in office for 2 years, had written about his drug use and had a history of lying his ass off. Instead they chose Obama anyway and Joe Biden simply piles one mistake on another. Because when you've made one historic mistake, choosing the craziest man in Congress since Trafficant's imprisonment almost looks minor by comparison.


Keli Ata said...

With those big mitts of his up in the air Joe Biden looks like a grizzly bear not that it has anything to do with anything lol.

What struck me when Obama announced his VP choice was that Obama kept emphasizing that Biden had foreign policy experience and "can lead."

Seems like Obama is throwing out the "Captain of the Ship" doctrine and telling his supporters, "I will probably mess up but don't worry, Joe will take care of everything. Don't worry, be happy."

Naturally Biden had to repeat and emphasize that he's an "Irish Catholic" to further cause people to associate Obama with the Kennedys, making Obama an Irish Catholic if only by proxy.

What a piece of work, huh?

Ricki said...

Obama looks like a laughing horse in this photo.
He is always so jaundiced . He should get his liver checked.
He has big horse teeth and a long horse face.
In the photo he seems to be do a horse laugh too while Biden looks like his trainer about to reward the yellow horse with a lump of sugar for keeping his stall clean today.

No Apology said...

Quote of the day:

“I’m thoroughly disgusted with the Democratic Party,” said Cynthia Ruccia who spoke at the presser. “I believe the real magic of Barack Obama was his ability to turn lifelong Democrats like us into McCain supporters overnight.”


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