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Sunday, December 30, 2007

Ron Paul Criticises God for Violently Ending Egyptian Slavery

Bellevue Hospital - Crazy racist Presidential candidate Ron Paul while appearing on Meet the Press criticized God for bringing a violent end to the Egyptian enslavement of the Israelites.

"You know I'm a great believer in the ummm Constitution and private property and that was just wrong. The Egyptians paid in honest Gold backed currency for their Israelite slaves and I don't agree with slavery but it was manifestly unconstitutional for God to interfere with the system," Ron Paul mumbled. "Why couldn't he have just paid fair value for them?"

When asked to elaborate on this, Ron Paul explained that had God simply paid the Egyptians fair value for every Jew, the whole Exodus thing could have been avoided.

"I mean if he had just paid the Egyptians ummm fair value instead of rivers turning to blood and rains of frogs and those other things, just seemed completely unnecessary," Ron Paul continued, "this is not a race issue again, I would feel the same way about the enslavement of every other race but my own."

On a related note the Ron Paul for Pharaoh in -2288 campaign has refused to return a donation of 300 gold dinars from the Committee to Restore Hebrew Slavery claiming that everyone has the right to their opinion, so long as it's pro-slavery.

12 comments:

LemonLimeMoon said...

He certainly is coming up looking more and more hypocritical as time goes by.

Dymphna said...

This is a hard time of year for me, so anything that can actually make me laugh is a miracle in itself.

Thanks so much!

Sultan Knish said...

glad it made you laugh

Anonymous said...

Sultan,

Is this too good to be true?

I tried googling this and found nothing.

I hope its not!

Sultan Knish said...

it's a satirical jab at his civil war statement

Keli Ata said...

Great satire and always with a strong element of truth.

I'm still shocked that the ADL hasn't addressed RP's civil war/slavery remarks, and for that matter that the AMA (American Medical Association) hasn't investigated Dr. Paul's Neo Nazi ties. No one receiving support or actively courting anti-semitites should be in the healing profession.

It's just plain wrong.

Yobeeone said...

LOL!!!! This was great!

Did you know that West Virginia was the first State to have a lawsuit against G-d? Something happened because of the weather, so some redneck decided to sue G-d. It was so funny. The local rag said, "So far, G-d has yet to show up for the hearing." ROFL (true story)

Don said...

That's a good one, quite cheap of you to equate Lincoln to God.

So according to you America was NOT founded on moral and freedom principles, and our founding fathers' Constitution can be torn apart. After all, it wasn't good enough to prevent slavery.

Who are you, Jews who can't maintain their own country without sucking American aid, tell Americans what's wrong in our history? Have you set a better example?

Americans didn't have a civil war until 90 years into independence, Israel has been at war ever since it was "founded".

Don said...

What Lincoln did to slave owners in the civil war is no different than what communists do to people's property, take it by force, not by trade, negotiation, respect and reason.

You think its ridiculous to say slavery is property, but who are we to judge the times? Slavery still exists today in Africa and the Middle East, who are you to say that's wrong?

How would you like it if Chinese communists said owning land and cattle is wrong and destroyed your living that's based on it?

What money, blood and time we'd save if we bought slaves and freed them? The same way Larry Flynt bought the rights to Jessica Lynch pictures to prevent them from being published?

Sultan Knish said...

a slavery apologist, an anti-semite and a ron paul supporter

name three things that go together

one history lesson coming up

"What Lincoln did to slave owners in the civil war is no different than what communists do to people's property, take it by force, not by trade, negotiation, respect and reason."

if you're going to argue that human beings are property, then the communists were as legitimate as the slave owners in enslaving people

on the other hand if you believe that people have a right to freedom, then you would reject both communism and slavery

of course you're a ron paul supporter so you are by definition an idiot

"You think its ridiculous to say slavery is property, but who are we to judge the times? Slavery still exists today in Africa and the Middle East, who are you to say that's wrong?"

'we' are the ones who know right from wrong

you are a ron paul supporter and so you don't

"What money, blood and time we'd save if we bought slaves and freed them?"

the civil war was about the economic institution of slavery, not about individuals owning slaves

it was about the collision between free enterprise and slave power

"So according to you America was NOT founded on moral and freedom principles, and our founding fathers' Constitution can be torn apart. After all, it wasn't good enough to prevent slavery."

it was slavery that violated the constitution, lincoln brought the south into compliance with the constitution

"Who are you, Jews who can't maintain their own country without sucking American aid, tell Americans what's wrong in our history?"

as I recall it took quite a lot of french aid to maintain america

"Americans didn't have a civil war until 90 years into independence, Israel has been at war ever since it was "founded"."

actually america had fighting between the states all along, ethan allen got started fighting against new york, then there was the whiskey rebellion, aaron burr's planned coup and that was all before the 19th century even hit

datarat said...

Bravo! Wonderful Troll Takedown!

Sultan Knish said...

sadly i've had lotsa practice

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