Wednesday, October 25, 2006

President announces Appease-A-Muslim-Day

USA Today

Jill Cavanaugh

In coordination with Islamic advisers and to celebrate the presence of Muslims in America, the President has signed into law the official commemoration of Appease-A-Muslim Day.

"Appease a Muslim Day," said the President, "is just our way of thanking our fellow Muslim-Americans for not having killed us in large numbers on our own soil over the last year. They've given us the great gift of peace of mind and now it's our turn to give back."

With the support of the Federal government and the Department of Appeasing Muslims, states and local municipalities will all be participating in Appease-A-Muslim Day. As a good citizen why aren't you participating too?

Authorized activities for the day include such fun things as;

1) Loudly proclaiming that Allah is the one true deity and that Mohammed is his prophet.

2) Boycotting Israel, Thailand, France, Denmark (for full list of nations being boycotted by Muslims please visit

3) Beat up anyone who isn't a Muslim until they accept Islam. Jews in particular. It's fun for the whole family.

Enjoy Appease-a-Muslim Day and try to come back alive.


Keliata said...

Do I get the day off from work? Any Appease-a- Muslim Day bonus like we get at Christmas/end of the year?

yobeeone said...

I protest!!! I want a Tease-a-muslim day!!!! How do we get to celebrate?

1) Tattoo dutch cartoons of allah on arab foreheads!
2) Line them up and shoot spit wads. Special allah straws provided.
3) And my favourite...stick mini-firecrackers up their hinies! Just for the bang of it! :]

marallyn ben moshe said...

damn you're good...brilliant brilliant brilliant...clap clap clap!!!...i am soooooooo tired of palestine pity...u got guts sultan...stay safe

Keliata said...

ROFL Yobee! Tease-A-Muslim Day!! The possibilities are endless!

Jim said...

Such wit... Finally someone reports what is really going on! Keep up the great coverage.

Cindy Lou said...

I enjoyed the day by kicking and stomping 19 muslim women til they covered their ankles properly.
of course I wore baggies over my feet to protect me from AIDS but, yes I got them to submit and appeased their husbands very nicely.
I aim to punish more of them in future if they are not in complete burqas in public.

Fayed said...

In an effort to make muslims happy, I think the United States should pass a law that forbids muslim women from practcing medicine or being seen too much in public.
This way the religion will be kept pure and pristine.
Muslimas who treat men are not doing right. They must stop and give up their medical practices why do they want to touch men ?
I think all muslimas should be also in burqa and not out too much from their homes at all.

I think also it is very nice you make official day for us. Thank you

Semper said...

I can't imagine why anyone would want to touch a muslim without wearing rubber gloves

Billy Bob Thornton said...

This here blog come up with some fine ideas.
I sent in my picture Knish but I guess I didnt win after all!
Well now I think that a national holiday for people would be good after all. We can all use a day off.
Especially me Knish what with my revivals taking me round the nation. I will be in your neck o the woods this week and will stop by and say Howdy to you.
Yes indeed, busy busy with all this now.
Converting those muslims is hard work but someone has to do it.

Sultan Knish said...

well I would have used your picture billy, but it's darn hard to scan in a picture written in spaghetti sauce

good luck with the revivals,

Billy said...

Knish its what was available!
Them nice ladies at the First Baptist made it for the pot luck the other night and well, that and a napkin, but you got the point of the picture I am sure.
45 muslims in disguise at my rivival last night.. 20 of em answered the altar call and got baptized on the spot!
I tell you Knish I am on a roll with this thing.
Praise be.
Well I have to preach in the morning at a Methodist group, you know how them Methodists can be so I need all the rest I can get!

Sultan Knish said...

you be careful baptizing them muslims, you gotta wash the kettle good afterwards

yobeeone said...

The best way to wash the kettle is to insert arab, add lots of wood around kettle, take match and light wood.

Remember, it isn't cannibalism if you don't eat them. But it is great entertainment watching them squeel at the thought of water touching their dirty little bodies. :]

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