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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Air Zionism

56 comments:

Shiduchim Crisis said...

Apikoires how come you don't write about the Monsey chicken scandle. You generaly like Chareidim Bashing, or does this for a change hurt too much, like it should a couple of weeks before Rosh hashona?

Sultan Knish said...

look you meshugene what have you got against the post? this has nothing to do with charedim or chickens. go back on your medication and stop bothering people

Lemon Lime Moon said...

Apikores? Chicken scandal? Hareidi Bashing by the Sultan? Are you insane?
They say if a man is single after 40 he becomes bitter like an old maid. Shape up buddy .

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

you are all ganze apikursim and shuld do tsuveh before you al going to gehenim mit the rollercoasters in asbury park where all de skutzim dance upsidey down

de chickens is holier den you, all de chickens dey is my minyan, I daven mit em and den kill em and have mein minyen and eat it tooo

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Crisisey, mein boy, let me tell heve I got a bomb of a shidduch for you

she is deaf in three ears, lame in two legs and walk to her work mit her shopping cart collecting cans for deposit

what you saying?

Chaim Tzvi Hee said...

Zibbel Ishkabible I knew you in Torah Temima when I was 5 already and a talmid chacham and you were in diapers with the chicken feathers hanging out of your hair. We always wondered where you lived. now we see in a barn

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Chaim, you bandeet! Give back my nickel. I know you have been taking it while I wus doing negel vasser mit three bottles of scotch and then drink the negel vasser too.

Wit the chickens I getting all the aliyahs except levi which one mean rooster keep trying to take from me, not like you hooliganers.

Shprintze said...

ShidduchCrisis my darling, I am interested in men with such demanding personalities so forceful. I am ferklempt over your attitude here I love it so in a man.
I am 20 and I can have tons of kinderlach and I am pretty so I am told. Not too tall, not too small either and I love how you write. Maybe I red myself a shidduch with you.

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Sprintze, you listen to me, forget that crisis bum, you like older men, Im older den him, you like crazier men I crazier den him too.

You good luking? I likes good luking womems. I come to America and see Statue of Liberty and say to mein wife, I want a wife like that but not so green, so hit me over the head and I fall into water and next thing I know I am living in Jersey

pleaze write back

Chaim Tzvi said...

Who you are calling a hooliganer? You mit dat krummy face of yours mit dat negel vasser mayim achronim on your conscience ?
I saw you with those chickens from that goyishe fectory on the east side. A Shanda!!
Negel vasser my aunt Brindi you know det vas vodka from the polish side of your femily.
We all know da trut about you Zibbel and you accuse me for a nicle?
I should live chas v shalom in Paramus to see a nickle in my pocket det didnt belonging to me

Shprintze said...

Dear Reb zibbel,
It is my pleasure to see your kindly letter to me in these columns here.
If you are serious have your shadchan call mine, ( i left the number by sultan knishes email) and we can talk maybe.
I love older gentlemen.
kol tuv,
Shprintze

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

You listen, you talking to me one more time like dis, I get my big stick and beat you till you talking like it is purim and walking like it is purim too

I do wot I like mit de chickens and I defiese anyone to do anyding about it. Dey are all Mafia, ganzen Mafia. I sick my chickens on de mafia before it is through.

You should live chalila ve'chas in Bergen County for what you said about me

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

My deer daling Sprintze

I am a very simple man. I do not sit in thrones wit crown. I only want one ding out of life, my kasha heated up right and someone to heat my Kasha up.

I do not believe in shadchanim. Shadchanim want money and does not want to let me pay them in chicken feather pillows which are like in gan eyden to sleep on

Just yell loudly out the window at me and I will hear you, I have hearing like a fox

Chaim Tzvi said...

Chalila you talk to me like dis if we was still in Poland I would come at you like det hurrican and slap you til your payos wrap round your head 3 times already.
I ketched you mit doz chikens from that goyishe guy in flatbush and now you tell about a nickle to all this people in this blog !
Chas v chalila you do this to me now when I am old men.
Live in Teaneck kofer you.
itim halim itim shoteh you you you thing you

Shprintze said...

My dearest most beloved Zibbel, light of my life,
I will heat up your Kasha like never before my darling.
I am yelling even now.

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Chaim you is not changed in 50 years!!! The rebbe in the cheder didnt take a big enough stick to you. I get a bigger stick now and give back my nickel!

That nickel was in 1948. With interest it is I calculated 30 million dollars. If you not had geganevet it from me, I would be reecher than bil gays

give beck my neeckel or I set de chickens on you, goyische or not

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

to Shprintzele, Yell louder mein daling, I think I hear or maybe it is a car alarm or thromobis

mein kasha is cold and waiting desparely for you

Chaim Tzvi said...

you tell sich lies about me
Gonif you call me for a nickel?
you are the gonif you gonif you.
You stole the girl of my dreams in Krakow when I was about to esk her to merry me and next what thing do I know you are popping rings on her and turning her from me.
I never vas liking you all des years for det and now I tell all these witness here that you are the thief of all theif
I challenge you to a duel!!
My chicken vs yours
Mine are glatt 100% glatt kosher not like your trief cluckers you phoney baloney man you
By de vey Mein wife Brindle wants know if you come by have glass tea mit us next week sometime.

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

so be eet!!!

loaded chickens at dawn! Frist one to get food poisoned loses. Ha!

I feed mein chickens nothing but puree d pigeons, some say dis is connlbolism but mein chickens are now smart like pigeons.

And you liar, you take my nickle and call me stealing girls from you. I never knew no girl. That was a boy you fool! I was returning his bottle cap. You have becoming so senile your mind has gone away.

Shprintze said...

Dear Zibbel,
Thats not the alarm it is me calling to you with endearments from deep inside my heart.
Its a bit shrill since I have adnoids.
I am the Kasha heating queen of Brooklyn. You will never need anything else fromlife once I heat them for you. It will be all you need.
You are a lovely person.
BH I have this opportunity to talk to such a tzadek .

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Daling Sprintzele,

Dat is good, I get ringing in my ears sometimes and I go to answer the phone but no one dere.

Shrill is gutt. I cannot hear any other kinds sounds. You will have to talk that way always.

So long, zo many years I waiting for someone to at last come and heat up my kasha.

Shprintze said...

Darling Zibbel,
and I have waited to heat up just the right kasha too.
I think we have so much in common and we are a good match if you dont mind my saying so.
You with the Kasha , me with the heat. Its all good.

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Daling sprintzele

Yes, yes we have much in commen. You yell loudl, I am part deafening. You can heat Kasha, I have kasha to heat. It is a match made in shemayaim or least the tri-state year which is like shamayim on ert with traffic cones and highwais.

Tell me one very important questions before we becoming men and weib, wid the heating, do you use gas?

Chaim Tzvi said...

I dont come to dis blog to be insulted by the likes of Zibbel Ishkabibbel Wurmsteyn I tell you det!
Wet kind of name is Wurmsteyn anywise?
Der is no one by det name in the world .
Even the name is phoney baloney by dis guy.

shprintze said...

My dearest loving Zibbel,
I avoid gas.
I use Rolaids.
Thank you for your concern my darling.

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Ha! Wot name you like me to insult you wid, you write name and I insult you wid it! My treat!

I insult you as Genkins Can and Addila the Chun! Its no mattering to me.

And give beck my nickel you ganev!!!

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Mein dear darlinge sprintzele,

dos is good because you know too much gas in the house and big explosions come and frightening away all the chickens.

Soon we can look to the days when you will be Sprintzele Wurmsteyn and taken my name

Chaim Tzvi said...

Ganif ganif okay dokay you calling me names now dets fine.Bupkes I owe to you bupkes!
Stop mit the utzing me . I dont know by your nickel and I dont sent you no nickel.
So, your coming for a glass tea next thursday?

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Yes you owe me Bupkes and you be paying me every penny of it!!! or my name isnt Zibbel Wumrstein of 187th Street!!!

Yes I will be at the glass tea and how is your leg doing?

Shprintze said...

Shprintze Wurmsteyn has a ring to it that is lovely.
I would be so proud to change my name to yours if there is a proposal that is made to me properly.

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Mein daling sprintzele, I weel be proposing to you properly very soon when first we meet. I is proposing now to propose to you till then and I am already on my knees but only because I mixed up calendar thinking its tisha baav.

Luvingly yurs,
zibbel

Chaim Tzvi said...

Oy vey iz mir mein leg is oy don't esk!
Chas vchalila that you NEVER know how this pain is by me.
I run daily.
5 km only now that I am 80
I tell you what with the new baby and all my wife is too tired to rub my legs in the night anymore.
Vat I can say ? I live I go on.
Come by we will daven mincha togehter and my wife will make us tea.

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Oy do I know wat its like, not one good leg on me, soon I have to trying to walking about on mein hands

you should be gratefull you have one gutt leg, I would give both my limbs for one good one

azoy tzuris vus ken mir tun

shprintze said...

Zibbel,
Are you putting this off by any chance?
Worried now,
Shprinze

Chaim Tzvi said...

Ok so tea by my place next thursday and G-d willing and the creek doenst rise we will have a nice time remembering how I didnt take no nickel from you at all and you can apologize to me in person.Good.

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

No!!! No puting off. I could die any second now after all!!!

Mein dear daling sprintzele, weel you agree to marry me and making me the heppiest men in the world, at least the tri-state area, and agree to be mein lowfully wedded weif when we iz getting meeried and living together in simechas and joys forever meet de kasha which you keep heeted up for me

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Chaim, you bandeet!! You geev back my nickel or I get my stick out again. Tea is not costed a nickel, you smear Zibbel's good name before his new weif and then you pocket his money and lie about it.

A reckogning there will be! A reckoning I am telling you!

Shprintze said...

Zibbel, I would be honored and happy to be your wife.

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Ah Sprintzele, you heve made me the happiest man I have ever med in mein life and together we shell be happiest indeed. Here is imageenery roses I am sending you out the window.

Chaim Tzvi said...

Zibbel for the sake of peace I give by you a nickel and also I make for you the glass tea and we will be friends now ok?
Everything now is good by us no?

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Yes yes, chaim we make shulem now, shulem oif de whole woild. I am newly married men, you newly fathered men, we looking up at whole new woild now opening up before us

Shprintze said...

My dear sweet Zibbel,
How can I tell you what these last few moments have meant to me here together with you?
How can I show you all that is in my heart for you at this moment?
It will take a lifetime to show you how much I care and how deeply I have come to love you in this time we have been together. There are no words for it since these things are impressed upon my heart and kept safely in my mind away from the eyes of the world.
But I treasure each and every word you have said to me over this time we have spent. You have made my life and changed my outlook and my mind on so much.
If I had not met you I would be poorer than the poorest peasant in creation but now I have everything in your love.
You are precious to me in ways I cannot begin to describe and even if there were no more moments together here, these moments would live on forever in my heart.

Chaim Tzvi said...

The baby is up and crying now.
At 80 I am shlepping around burping a little one.
What can I say I am energetic I guess.
Oy the chickens are loose now too!

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

mein lovink darlink sprintzele

your woids are a nectar in my ears and a honey in mein heart, your voice sings in the air surrounding me like a loving violin

all dings are possible with your presnce with me, a new woild opens up, all life is villed with beauty and wonderus song

dere is no substitute for you and the wonderfullness you bring to me, forever mein, forever yurs

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Chaim, one is der answer to the other, nutting puts crying babyes to sleep like chickens clucking

Chaim Tzvi said...

Ok by me things is good now.
the kinder is gone shluffy mit de chickens and now I think I hear the sound of song for you and your kalla?
Is Shprintze your kalla now?
If so I hear good vibrations.
Gotta keep those loving good vibrations happening all the time as mein friend Brian used to say ven ve was surfing. I hear det song too Good vibration for your coming chassuna too.
so I will get a one at the sheva brochos?

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

Gutt, gutt vibrations. that Brian was a nice fella, a real genius, but he spend too much time writing about surfing, I tell him you should write about taking the bus instead not surfing, more many take the bus than surf, people relate better but he did not listen

sigj

Shprintze said...

So, are we setting a date now Zibbele? My little doodlebunny?

Zibbel Wurmsteyn said...

ve are sure to be! You just wait!

Keliata said...

At the risk of appearing dense or gullible--what has any of this to do with the video??

Somewhat off topic--what do people mean when they say, "I support Israel but I am not a Zionist." Is there a difference between supporting Israel and being a Zionist?

Is it similar to a racist who says, "I'm not a racist---BUT...."?

I don't get it

sultan knish said...

HF - it really depends on who's saying it

A liberal likely means that he supports the current existance of israel as a state but isn't necesarilly thrilled about its creation or feels pride in it...etc

A religious person may mean they support the existance of israel and its struggle, but not the zionist ideas themselves which they may view as secular nationalism and irreligious

etc...

Lemon Lime Moon said...

To me the video was sad , very sad.

Keliata said...

Sadly Sultan, I'm hearing it most from xians who will say, "I support Israel, but I am not a Zionist." The same sort that often say, "I love the Jewish people..." and then make an insulting anti-semitic remark in the form of a back-handed "compliment."

Sultan Knish said...

what they really mean is they support israel because they don't like terrorists, but they don't like the idea of israel as a jewish state either let alone believe that jews have sovereign rights to it

Andy said...

Hey Sultan, that's a great video. But you know I just read part of Francisco Gill White's "US ally of Israel?". I always thought they were for the longest time. Just sometimes one administration less than others. Many churches that I know are considering themselves friends of Israel and to pray for Israel specially in the times of need. However watching Bush very closely specially during the weeks of the war with Lebanon I wasn't suprised about his flip flop statements. The sad thing is most today have no clue about history. If they would have they wouldn't by a lot of what's going on in our country. My mom used to say that politics is a whore house and most of what you see is just to pull wool over your eyes.
Good work.

Keliata said...

Andy, if people would listen carefully also to many of these "christian" zionists they'll hear anything but 100-percent support of Israel as a Jewish state. I've heard it from people I know, and I've heard it more times than I can count on christian television.

One xian television network, TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) recently dropped the Zola Levitt Presents show from their programming lineup. Zola Levitt (a messianic Jew born in Israel) was openly critical of militant Islam and terrorism against Israel; long before September 11. A couple of his guests (former Muslims) Walid Shoebat and and another gentleman who converted to christianity from Islam (can't recall the name, but the man was a Palestinian) got death threats for appearing on his show. The later guest had to return to Palestine when his family was also threatened.

TBN took issue with Zola's "degrading" Arabs and Muslims and asked him to ease up. Zola refused. TBN claimed they were expanding into Arab nations and that they didn't want to offend their new viewers.

Further, they claimed that Arabs were receptive to their xian message and Jews were not. They also felt Zola's message was awkward coming from a Jewish Israeli host (Levitt) as well.

I don't condone messianic "judaism" but I did like Zola's show. He never went on screaming rants and was respectful to all of his guests, even those he disagreed with. And to be honest, much of the show was filmed outdoors in Israel. The countryside is absolutely gorgeous.

Since I don't have cable my television viewing is severely limited. I get two hours of authentic Jewish programming from a Canadian channel once a week. Zola's Judaism was a not authentic judaism, but he was on the money when it came to Islam and the threats facing Israel.

Ironically, the xian preachers that TBN continues to air (Benny Hinn, Perry Stone etc.) are making a fortune selling an "xian" talis and talis bag as well as other christinized Jewish merchandise to TBN viewers.

It's sickening. They're profiting from Jewish merchandise but don't care about the threats facing Jews.

Sultan is correct in his answer to my question about zionism, especially when xians claim they support Israel.

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