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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Mel Gibson's Top 10 Arrests




10. Arrested for riding the tilt-a-whirl without any pants on. When arrested accused the officers of doing the bidding of ZOG.

9. Officers were summoned to a neighbor's swimming pool an inebriated Gibson was urinating into. Proclaiming, "a man's toilet is his castle," Mel Gibson wrestled with officers telling them, "his jew lawyers would fix their wagons good."

8. Deputies called to the Malibu Fisherman's Festival where a drunken Gibson was apparently trying to convince a children's clown to hear his confession while vomiting on his oversized clown shoes. After being arrested, Mel Gibson threatened to "get the clan and show you kike bastards a real holocaust or two." Officer's report unclear whether Gibson meant a scottish clan or the klan.

7. Officers stopped Gibson as he was dancing down the street on the day of Pope John Paul's funeral waving a half-empty bottle of whiskey and telling bystanders who asked for his autograph that the false pope had signed their death warrants and "without their fat polish antichrist the JewSA was doomed now." Mel Gibson was persuaded to return to his home without further incident.

6. The US Marshall's Service was forced to intervene at the British Consulate where a stumbling Gibson was demanding directions to the "embassy of the Jews" telling them they were lucky because the only people he hated more than the British were the Jews. Gibson informed the Marshalls that he was late for a premiere and departed weaving through traffic.

5. Security summoned to a taping of "Win Ben Stein's Money" where Mel Gibson had cornered Ben Stein demanding he, "give back all the blood he stole from sweet Jesus." When asked by security to leave, Gibson promptly flattened himself against a wall, spread his arms and told security to, "hammer in the nails, hammer them in just like you did to Jesus."

4. 911 call claiming that Mel Gibson was staggering drunk in front of St. Mary's Cathedral and spewing obscenities sent officers on a wild goose chase. Unable to locate Mr. Gibson the officers did however locate a dozen empty whiskey bottles, a cigar stub and a copy of 'The Turner Diaries' translated amateurishly into Aramaic with an assigned note indicating that it had been done so, "Jesus could read all about the lying Jews."

3. Officers summoned to Mr. Gibson's home after reports of shots being fired. Officers found Mel Gibson inside crouched behind an overturned sofa and shouting, "you Zionists won't get that bar code on my head." When the handcuffs were placed on him, Mr. Gibson lapsed into what appeared to be Mayan repeatedly interlaced with modern American curse words and the chant, "buy Papa John's, end the Zionist occupation of Pizza Hut."

2. Mel Gibson appeared at the police station to report a theft. When asked to fill out a form he refused explaining that he was here to report the theft of the country by the Jews. When informed by officers that they could not help him, Gibson accused them of working for Tel Aviv. Unclear of what he meant the officers asked him to leave or he would be arrested. Gibson informed them that "the purges would be coming soon and all the fornicators and devil worshippers who subscribed to Vatican II would be cleansed from the earth." No charges were filed.

1. Secret service guards intercepted a barely coherent Mel Gibson at the White House gates. Questioning revealed that Gibson had come to offer President Bush $5oo to nuke Israel. On inspection the money Gibson was offering turned out to be only a 5 dollar bill. Gibson explained this by blaming "Jew sponsored inflation of our economy," and attempted to persuade agents that, "in the new coming Holy Catholic Empire of Maryland, 5 dollars would be worth what a million dollars are today if it weren't for the Jew banks." Agents placed Gibson in a car sending him to a hospital for detoxification.



Remember Gibson has apologized explaining that he has a disease, alcoholism. It should however be kept in mind that alcoholism isn't his problem, two other things beginning with 'a' are and only one of them is anti-semite.

4 comments:

Yobeeone said...

I would say he's psycho, but then aren't all anti-semites? :]

Keliata said...

Yes indeedy. Wonder how long it will take Oprah to book him?

Neshama said...

Here's my take on this.
Poor Mel, he has three problems:
1. He's an alcoholic, and as such totally NOT in touch with who he really is.
2. He has been emotionally and mentally tortured by his father - he has a tremendous father complex.
3. He is a celebrity and has too much money, and this keeps him going. If he were poor, he would be in rehab.
He is in dire need of a good drying out and AA program. He needs to get in touch with that little boy inside (who was twisted by his father) in order to heal and grow up. It's a long process, and may take him many years before he will be at rest with himself.

He really is not responsible for what he is doing, and being 'kind' to him is the opposite of what he needs. He needs to be dragged kicking to an AA meeting.
He's just another drunken boy destroyed by a father.

goyisherebbe said...

Neshama has a point, that the inner Mel needs a cleanup real bad. But she neglects that change only comes from within. Dragging someone kicking and screaming to be helped just makes it certain that they will not cooperate.

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