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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Barry Chaimish Theatre presents: Prognostications of Armageddon or I Told You I Was Right

(Due to personal reasons Sultan Knish was not able to post today so we instead bring you a guest post from famed author, journalist and conspiracy theorist, Barry Chaimish.)



Prognostications of Armageddon or I Told You I Was Right

by Barry Chaimish

I'm in sunny South Minneapolis now having lunch with Joel Siegel, Naomi Klein and the descendant of the Archduke Ferdinand whose assasination brought on the beginning of the Crimean War as documented by Oswald H. Reilly in his excellent book, 'A Secret History of the Illuminati's Wars.' The Archduke is picking up the check.

The Archduke better known today as Johnny Kiplinger found inner peace in Buddhism but with some prodding unfolds a tale for us so fantastic that I will make it the center of my next book, 'We're All Doomed' by Barry Chaimish to be jointly distributed by Satanspawn Press, Christmageddon Ministries and any radio station in Idaho that will put me on the air for 15 minutes.

Suffice it to say that the Sabbatean\Freemasonic\Maine Gas and Power conspiracy I've been trying to wake up the apathetic Israeli public to goes on as before. Under the bidding of the Vatican, the EU and Stanley Morgan their conspiracies are unleashed and yet no one will listen or buy copies of my books for a reasonably priced $12.95, that's $618.99 in Canadian Rupees. Does no one care at all? While the 'so-called' Gush Katif refugees live high on the hog, I can't even take a single drink from the minibar. The world hangs in the balance and I've had to cut my tips to the hotel staff down to %12 because nobody in the supposed right-wing camp cares enough to subsidize the hotel bill for my world tour exposing the hidden conspiracies behind everything.

I stumbled on this conspiracy by accident myself some years back when Beelzebub himself, AKA Daniel Pipes said some mean things about me. Immediately I grasped that this was not an accident or an act of ignorance but that his criticism of me could only mean one thing, HE WAS HELMING A VAST CONSPIRACY WHICH I HAD UNKNOWINGLY UNMASKED.

Along with a certain professor from Haifa whom I won't name except to anyone who emails me and gives me the secret password (aardvark) Daniel Pipes, a member of CFR, NRA and the ATF, is conspiring to enrage the otherwise peaceful and friendly Arabs with insulting cartoons of Mohammed and faking the 'kidnapping' of an Israeli soldier which like all the so-called Hamas terrorist attacks, were really the work of the Israeli government. Shimon Peres who assasinated Ofra Haza, JFK Jr and Ralph Lauren is all part of this somehow too.

While the right wing camp engages in frivlous behavior such as aiding refugees and protesting against the government, I have come to Minneapolis for the only people still willing to listen to me, the Baptist Pastors of Messianic Synagogues such as Rabbi Yauchonanu Zwiebel who has invited me to speak on 'The Destruction of Israel and Converting the Heathen Jew' and of course my good friend Thomas Knoebel, a Holocaust skeptic, from the Fourth Reich Historical Revisionism Society. These are the last honest people around and we had better listen to them and me, before it's too late.

I will be on WZBZ radio station, 1056 AM, at 3 AM on Jim Oakley's show, 'Anti-Christ Unmasked - Exposing the Satanic New World Order' conspiracy. Jim has actual video of reptilians boarding the planes which 'supposedly crashed' on 9/11 and new revelations about Stinktrails in the atmosphere, The LUUTE project and the Report from Poundcake Mountain from the Retrolateral Commission of William F. Buckley Junior High School.

As part of my investigations I will also be getting courtside tickets for a Lakers game. As everyone knows the Refaim, the mythological giants of the Bible will be returning shortly on UFO's, and very possibly in the disguises of the LA Lakers. I plan to be on hand to observe and document them. Afterwards I will be escaping pursuit from the fiends the international sabbetean conspiracy will be sending after me to prevent me from speaking to you. If you can please buy my books. If you can't, please buy two. And remember criticising or mocking me in any way proves that you're a dupe or more likely a pawn or knight of the New World Order and other stuff that far-right extremists thought up in the 80's and I ripped off from them after watching some episodes of the X-Files.

The truth is out there. And by out there I mean in here. I mean me. Buy my books.

Barry

(The preceding was an op-ed piece from Barry Chaimish, not to be confused with Barry Chamish. For further information on Barry Chamish but not Chaimish see this site here and here)
To clarify the differences, Barry Chamish believes Peres was behind the deaths of JFK Jr and Ofra Haza but NOT Ralph Lauren. Barry Chamish believes that the giants are returning on UFO's and kidnapping women but not that they are the LA Lakers. Barry Chamish believes that the War in Lebanon and the cartoon violence were both a plot by Daniel Pipes who has said mean things about him. Barry Chamish also tours around Messianic Churches and pals around with Neo-Nazi Holocaust deniers. So umm Barry Chamish is nothing like Barry Chaimish. At all.

12 comments:

Keliata said...

ROFL!! What a trip!!

Somebody pleassseeee give Chamish some Haldol stat.

Howard Dean said...

You can mock all you like Knish, but the conspiracy is real and going on all around us.
By the time you wake up it will be too late and reptilians will run it all.
Mocking won't stop it.

barry chaimish said...

You can win $500 if you can find a single sentence Chamish has ever written about anything that was truthful.

For details, go to
http://chamishcontest.50webs.com/

Scott said...

Genius funny.

Especially if you read sites like this:

http://watch.pair.com/

(warning: dangerously hypnotic site. Its like a train wreck ... can't not watch) [they hide the really evil sh*t a few pages deep]

Sultan Knish said...

with the zionist conspiracy stuff on the front page, I shudder to imagine how much worse it can get

Scott said...

Gee, you mean you didn't enjoy "The Six Pointed Star - The Mark of The Beast"?

It amazes me how much energy and time these conspiracy whacknuts devote to this stuff. Thank God (G_d to you) there aren't very many of them. Unfortuneately there are quite a few who buy the 'Masonic Conspiracy' drivel and these guys and their ilk make all that into ultimately a Zionist conspiracy/cabal. Ugly.

davidt said...

Plaut GHOUL!

davidt said...

PLAUT STOOGE!

Anonymous said...

SO how is Chamish paying for all the booze he guzzles? You know, the booze that has absolutely nothing to do with that big car crash he caused near Modiin? Where his blood alcohol level was up there with the UFOs in the sky?
I guess the CFR must have injected him with alcohol while he was unconscious?
I bit hard to tell though when he is unconscious cause he keeps on talking nonstop....

David Ben Ariel said...

Barry and Jesus are so much alike. They both have beards. They both have theories. That means Barry must be the returned Jesus!

Sultan Knish said...

wow some of these comments are becoming ummmm interesting

to Scott, they devoid tons of time and energy to this because many of them are insane, others just find this a convenient way to subsume their own frustrations at life and still others make money marketing it to the ignorant and gullible.

to DavidT, if you'd like to believe I'm part of the great big conspiracy be my guest. I have no use for Barry Chamish and I've extensively stated my reasons in the past why. His attackers on the settlers, his greed and egotism, his slandering of anyone who disagrees with him, his ties to anti-semitic neo-nazi and far left groups and the underlying fact that his conspiracies are manufactured nonesense that distract people from the really crucial stuff they should be paying attention to.

David - well they're alike to me insofar as I have little use for either one.

Anonymous said...

Barry Chamish - A Hamas Agent?

[BC often makes outlandish statements about known personalities declaring
that a proof of his veracity is that the people are not suing him.
We say the same to him].

Consider the following facts:
*In Hebrew the name "Chamish" may be spelt with the same letters
[Het-memn-shin] used to spell "Hamas" [Het-mem-shin smalit].

* Barry Chamish in the recent hullabaloo over cartoons took the Arab side and claimed
that the cartoons were a deliberately planned provocation.

* BC pretends to be on the side of the Israeli right wing but in effect is not.
He advocates suicidal fratricidal warfare while denigrating anyone "who shoots
to kill" for any reason. In other words start a fight and let the other side kill you
so that you can prove how righteous you were.
The Hamas WANT (they have said as much) the Jews to fight each other.
So does BC.

Any national figure (such as Natan Sharansky) who begins to defend the Jewish people is immediately falsely accused by BC of all kinds of nefarious deeds.
This happens time and time again, in fact with almost clockwork predictability.

*Any major opponent of the Islamic menace (such as Daniel Pipes) is immediately targeted by
BC and branded as an agent of the "secret" handlers whom BC claims control the world
(to the detriment of his Arab friends?).

* The Arabs have a perverted scatological mindset and so dies BC.

* The image Hamas has of the Jewish State of Israel and the "Zionists" behind it
and their effects on the world is identical to that projected by BC.

* BC provides links to the site of an Armenian Turkish agent
who says anti-semitic lies about the Jews and the Talmud and blames
the Jews for the massacres of the Armenians. BC also shares these Sentiments.
This exonerates the Turks and paves the way for a rapport between anti-Semitic
Armenian nationalists and Turkish ones. Armenian Nationalists are influential in Russia.
According to this and according to BC the Jews are guilty for what the Turks did.
[Who else?]
BC also blames the Jews for the Holocaust of their own people!!

We have provided more proof above that BC is a Hamas agent than BC usually does for claims he makes about others.
In fact, according to the school of BC, what more proof could one want?

http://www.britam.org/jerusalem/jerusalem391to420.html#tag22
Jerusalem News-413

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