Thursday, September 15, 2005

Scientists say Hurricanes are Racist

The League of Spurious Scientists today issued a statement declaring that hurricanes unfairly target minorities and demanding that the federal government step in to end hurricane hate crimes. The League which had previously sued rain for falling more often on minority parts of the planet and snowstorms for inflicting colds on Harlem, will now go after bigger targets.

The League has also announced plans to pursue and bring to justice earthquakes, volcanoes, tornadoes and other natural disasters that they say selectively and unfairly target minorities. In statistics compiled by the League, global natural disasters happened more often in parts of that world that didn't speak English as opposed to parts of the world that did.

Declaring that since civil rights groups had accused every living being on earth of racism, it was time to accuse the earth itself of being racist. The only solution they say is affirmative action on other planets.


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